today is an ordinary day. actually, i was stuck at home waiting for a delivery. i looked forward to this day as a time i could catch up on all the life admin tasks i had placed on a now dusty ‘to do’ list.
i actually accomplished most of those tasks.and then i asked myself, “what can i do today, in the present, that my future self would thank me for?” wow, what would that be?yoga practice?a walk in the sunshine?contacting the funeral director i had chosen?a phone call, not an email, to a friend?
what would my future self, the one that is born in the next present moment, thank me for?a cup of tean and a quiet sitting on the sofa, looking out the window at the sky on this winter day.
the tea is important to my future self because of the moment-to-moment experience of heat, liquid, spicy flavour…the enjoyment of the senses. and the looking is important to my future self for no particular reason at all! its importance lies in the space i create inside, in silence, is a reflection of, and reflected by, the sky.it is the space of potential for my future self to fill or not, as she sees fit. only the potential is important. the filling, or not, may, or may not, be important to her. in this moment, only the potential, along with the tea, are vital to my future self.
breathe...
a friend recently told me she often finds herself holding her breath. it’s not uncommon, really. we hold our breath most of the time, taking in only enough to keep all of our systems functioning.
the lung institute of tampa, florida tells us why breath and lung capacity are vital to our health, particularly as we age. here are some startling findings.Total lung capacity, or TLC, refers to the maximum amount of air that your lungs can hold. Typically, men have a greater lung capacity than women. At rest a man’s lungs can hold about 1.5 pints of air, while women’s lungs can hold around 0.6 to 0.8 pints. However, most of us do not use our full lung capacity.According to Jonathan P. Parsons, M.D., professor of internal medicine, associate director of Clinical Services and director of the Division of Pulmonary, Allergy, Critical Care and Sleep Medicine at the Ohio State University Asthma Center, “The lungs are over-engineered to accomplish the job that we ask them to do. In healthy people without chronic lung disease, even at maximum exercise intensity, we only use 70 percent of the possible lung capacity.”Lung capacity predicts health and longevity. A 29-year study published in Chest concluded that lung capacity is a long-term predictor of respiratory mortality, and should be used as a tool for general health assessment. Our lung capacity naturally declines with age, starting at age 30. By the age of 50, our lung capacity may be reduced by as much as 50 percent. This means that the older you get, the harder it is for your lungs to breathe in and hold air. When we breathe in less oxygen, our body and cells also receive less oxygen, forcing our heart to work harder to pump oxygen throughout the body. The heart working overtime long-term can lead to heart failure. Earlier symptoms of reduced lung capacity include shortness of breath, decreased stamina and reduced endurance and frequent respiratory infectionswhat can we do to maintain or increase our lung capacity? my favourite answer to this question is…yoga. in yoga practice we are encouraged to lengthen the exhale. this allows for more space in the lungs so that they can then inhale more oxygen. thus our lung capacity increases.
of course, many forms of physical exercise will do this too, from walking to tennis to swimming to zumba. my preference for yoga practice is its effect on our inner life at the same time as our physical self is being stimulated. yoga’s effects on the nervous system are well documented, making our response to the stresses of life less disturbing. and stress itself often causes us to hold our breath. taking a moment to breathe with awareness can change a situation from a stressful one to one where we can be more relaxed and present.yogis of old measured our lives by the number of breaths we are allotted to breathe. by lengthening the exhale, increasing our lung capacity, we will have more time to breath those breaths!inhaleexhaleinhale againexhale again
extra!
hello dear readers,i recently watched a 'horizon' programme entitled "we need to talk about death". as most of these programmes, this one is an excellent production dealing with a sensitive subject. the focus is two-fold...palliative care and hospice.for all conscious olders and spiritual elders, and those who love us, this programme is vitally important. it asks us to reframe how we might live our dying with grace and dignity, and, dare i say it, the possiblity of joy.here's a link to a review in the i newspaper.https://inews.co.uk/culture/television/we-need-to-talk-about-death-horizon-bbc2-dignified-and-thoughtful-film/
who is an older? who is an Elder?
there is much food for thought in this ageing process. we have very little in the way of a map or guide for living into our 80s and 90s, or even into our 70s. my father died when he was 70.
i was 28. at the time, a lot of people commented that he had lived a long life.now, 45 years later, when someone dies at 70 the comments are more likely to be about their having died young. improved health care, improved nutrition and greater awareness have all contributed to increased longevity.but how do we do it? and, more importantly, how do we do it with consciousness, grace and enthusiasm? what are the qualities that make ageing a vital, important and vibrant experience? what inner and outer processes will contribute to changing the paradigm from one of decline to one of enlivened growth?one of the first steps, it seems to me, is to change how we see olders. the media provide us with several images…the dotty old woman, the kindly grandparent,
the greying man struggling with his identity, the useless burden on society, the face-lifted diva doing anything to ‘stay young’,
the flabby people at the gym, the person with the walking frame.
none of these are particularly attractive in our youth-orientated world. and, more importantly, none of them acknowledge the wisdom held in those hearts and minds. none of them acknowledge our ability to live with ambiguity, to hold creative tension, to take the long view, to live with meaning and purpose, and to share our experience with our peers and with youngers.none of those images actually express who many of us are now, or can become. none of those images portray our ability to transcend our past while, at the same time, including all of our life experience.these decades of living longer can support our ability to see life as both/and. youngers, including our younger selves, often see life as either/or. many of us know now that most of life is not so clear cut. there is often a zone of ‘not knowing’ where creative solutions lie.only the living and breathing through the necessary struggles can we find our wisdom. only the living and breathing through heartbreak and disappointment can we begin to see those experiences as the bedrock on which we now stand. and it is from this firm foundation we can allow joy and curiosity, spiritual radiance and discernment to arise.this is the base on which the Elder stands.
letting go/filling up
letting go is not often an easy task. as our lives lengthen into elderhood more clutter accumulates. this clutter may be material, mental or emotional. it is clutter nonetheless.there are times when we need to be ruthless in clearing out the attic or the cupboards.
in fact, a whole industry has been created around de-cluttering. you can hire an expert to guide you in the process or books to chart your progress.
after the clutter has been dealt with we have created the opportunity to fill up again, to choose things more wisely. there is space.what of the mental and emotional clutter? there are certainly highly qualified psychotherapists and counsellors to assist us in letting go on these levels. much work, often painful work, can be done to relieve the burdens we may have carried, like an overstuffed rucksack, for decades.
now we have created the opportunity to be more present to ourselves and those around us, to fill up with authentic relationship. there is space.this process of letting go allows us to die spiritually in the smallest ways while we are alive. as we let go and surrender there is space for more generosity, greater kindness, more breath, more openness to come into the act, and art, of living each moment. as our elderhood unfolds and we allow ourselves to live into our dying, we can embrace our true nature, our spiritual selves, ever more fully. we can receive the treasures of equanimity, presence, serenity, freedom and connection. these qualities may have lived quietly within for decades. with the letting go they can come forward.
there is space.
knowledge/wisdom
we are incessantly flooded with information.
we have access to more knowledge now than ever before. much of this is exciting, helpful and important. there is, however, a difference between knowledge and wisdom.wisdom…a quality we recognise and is yet difficult to define. we find instead ways to describe. it is a deeper way of knowing, a more profound inner knowing. it is a way of knowing that which is unknown. there is a quality in wise people of deciphering what is just out of reach and is certainly not attainable by using information.
a wise person has the ability to be courageous with the unknown. she has a willingness to go where others refuse to go in order to discover what gifts lie there. he balances what his experiences have taught him with the excitement of exploration.
she also seems to hold, and normalise, both the pain and the joy of life, the inevitable dance of suffering and the relief of suffering. life seems to be united in the heart and mind of a wise person, linking disparate bits together into a more profound unity.
the wise elder holds a vision for our future, and finds ways to express that vision, be it by mentoring a younger person or by speaking out for her passions or by simply living her aligned values. it is the deep well of experience and compassion that allows the wise elder to create, to critique and to articulate that vision. he finds a way to make visible that which was invisible, to make the unmanifest somehow tangible.the wise have a fire burning in their hearts and so can warm all those with whom they are in connection. the joy we feel in their presence can inspire us to find our own wisdom, and to use the world’s knowledge and information to support and inform that wisdom.