life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.
this is a rhythm, a twin rhythm between what we might call emptiness and fullness. the emptiness is the twin of what becomes possible as the days of a life unfold. into this unoccupied space come the new, the urgent, the unexpected, the full.in a work of art that emptiness is called negative space. it is what allows the positive of the brushstroke, the marble, the colour to be manifested.
in singing and speaking it is the pause for breath or for the full stop at the end of a sentence.
in music it is the rest note, the silence of the instruments that allows their sound to come to our ears.
on a ramble in the countryside it is the moments we sit on a log or a stone to contemplate the view or the moss at our feet.
it is the voids of birth and death that allow the experience of each year, each day, each moment. where were we before we were born and where will we be after we die? these are, of course, without answer. we can only fill in the life between them with colour and shape and sound and breath and movement and a vibrant spark.bringing a spark to experience is the work of the spiritual elder. living in that spark is the joy of the spiritual elder. when we have changed our internal paradigm to one of life-enhancement, the spark becomes a flame.
and that flame has the power to ignite a revolution in consciousness. when that power reaches a critical mass…the 100th monkey…not only will our personal relationship to ageing have changed, but the new social discourse will create respectful, compassionate responses to the ageing population. all that is needed is your spark.
a treasure house
as the earth turns around the sun, we have passed the solstice, the darkest night. for many olders this darkness also resides within. ageing is regarded as decline, diminishment and a downward spiral. the treasure house is dark and shadowed with little light to dazzle and delight the eye.
if we come to see ageing not only as the demise of the physical body, but also as the harvest of our deepest self (some call it the soul), we can appreciate ageing as a time of great strength, poise and confidence. our treasure house is full of qualities of being which radiate our energy. when we are willing to look deep into our experience and unveil our wisdom, we can find vibrant value and gleaming grace in our ageing process.
this turning inward is not effortless. we will most likely encounter, in our treasure house of memory, difficult times. we might find pain that we thought we had forgotten or “already dealt with”. what can we garner from this life review, from this journey into the riches of the past?a question that arises for me is, “what has this event taught me”? this contemplation leads me to become aware of the strength i acquired from surviving that difficult experience. i become aware of the process of growth and change that the challenge has enabled. the grain of sand in the oyster’s tender flesh has created a new being…a pearl.
this reframing of the hard parts, the painful experiences, the tears and frustration of the past, allows breath to flow where there was none. it allows space to see, from the vantage point of age, the gifts i have received even in the most harrowing and agonising experience. and then the pearls are threaded onto a string that i call ‘my life’.and, of course, the treasure house of memory contains jewels of joy and brightness along with the grit-created pearls. the diamonds and emeralds of sunsets, of dances, of loves, of creation, of sharing, of insights all gleam nestled next to the pearls.
this then is the treasure house of a life’s experience, the treasure house of the soul.
hearts and souls
it seems the smarter we get about technology the dumber we get about relationships. we live in a society where loneliness, depression and suicide areon the rise. we seem to be treating each other worse. the guiding moral principlehere isn’t complicated: try to treat other people as if they possessed precioushearts and infinite souls. everything else will follow.
david brooks wrote those words in an article called “the power of human touch” published in the new york times on 19 january 2018.
as 2018 draws to a close i am drawn to this quote published in january. i’m not sure we have made the necessary changes in the space of this year to deal with loneliness, depression and suicide. and the message is still the same.i would tweak brooks’s words a bit…treat other people’s precious hearts and infinite souls with mercy and kindness, with open-heartedness and caring. people, all of us, already possess precious hearts and infinite souls. there is no “as if” about it.some of those hearts and souls might be damaged, almost beyond recognition. some may be armoured and defended so that they have become inaccessible and invisible.
they may be crying out in pain. others may have been so badly broken they might refuse to open again.and yet, those hearts and souls can ultimately be touched by kindness, gentleness, mercy and caring. from there everything else will follow. conversations can flow. healing might begin. smiles may emerge where only aching existed before. love might again be found.
i am not usually one to make new year’s resolutions. if i were to do so for 2019 it would be this: treat everyone i encounter with the awareness of her/his precious heart and infinite soul.everything else will follow.
today
today my knees hurt.today my shoulder hurts.today my thumb hurts.today i smile.
today i see the sky is filled with grey and white clouds.today i spoke with a dear friend.today my tech-guy stood me up and forgot our appointment.today i went to the dry cleaners and my jumper is not quite ready for pick up.today i stopped in the shop and bought some absolutely yummy biscuits.
today i am wearing a cosy fleece jumper.today the temperature is near freezing.today i saw the lovely red branches of a shrub.
today i heard a bird’s high-pitched song. (it was not a sea gull.)today i breathe.today i learned a new computer skill.today my heart is full of love.today i can read, listen to music, do a jig (…well, maybe not with my aching knees but with my heartmind).today i practice yoga (to begin to heal all those achey parts).
today i laugh.today i eat nourishing food.today i enjoy endless cups of herbal tea.
today i sit still.today i relish being alive.today is all i have.
a mirror
what happens when you look at your image in a mirror? what do you see there?
is it the face you saw 30 years ago? is it what you “would like” to see? do you see your ancestors reflected back to you?how can a simple, silvered piece of glass create so many questions? it is passive, without judgement, cold to the touch, reflecting only what is put in front of it. it tells us a version of truth in reflecting an external image. our culture is based on image, the image of youth and strength.as olders, we, most likely, no longer maintain that image. certainly we can do it artificially with facelifts, “anti-ageing” treatments, drugs which will place us back in the cult of youth.“our idea of beauty is impoverished now because beauty is reduced to good looks”, irish poet, john o’donohue writes in his classic book on celtic spirituality, anam cara.
he continues,” real beauty is a light that comes from the soul. sometimes in an old face, you see that light coming from behind the lines; it is a vision of the most poignant beauty”.your mirror reflect this beauty.look into your own eyes. you will see it there.
re-firement
sage-ing international (www.sage-ing.org) recently held a conference in the US. the final keynote speaker was matthew fox, a remarkable, excommunicated catholic priest whose profound, contemporary vision of spirituality has touched millions. he spoke of his dislike of the word ‘retirement’, a dislike i share with him! (sadly, none of the photos of him were available for download, so here's an image of one of his man books. it might give you an idea of why he was de-frocked!)
instead he posited the word ‘refirement’.
he spoke of the need for an energised, engaged generation of elders, who had fire in their belly, and a passion for life, in all its manifestations. this generation is living longer than any in the past. we have years of experience and wisdom to be given their place in the world, to be given to others with care and attention.fox also created the word ‘re-wirement’, by which he means the re-awakening of the mystical brain in elders.
as we grow older we have the opportunity to connect deeply with ourselves, with one another, with spirit and with the earth. we have the time and opportunity to expand and grow into our fullness, now that, for many of us, the obligations of younger years have passed.how can you be a refired, rewired elder? what would your growing older look like with those two qualities deeply integrated into your being? each of us has a unique answer to those questions. there is no one way, no right way to grow into elderhood. it is up to each of us to explore, to connect with what has meaning, and to create the rich life we long for.there is no ordinary elder...only individual, flashing, glorious facets on the gem of wisdom.
(find more about mattew fox at www.mattewfox.org)