in a recent conversation, a dear friend commented about the lack of spirituality in her life right now. she said she used to meditate, write poetry, sing and write music.
then she went on to tell me about all that she had been doing...tirelessly working with people who are unhoused, actively supporting children in africa, caring for her grandson and his canine friend.
a word popped out of my mouth as i reminded her about all of this. i told her i was certain she did all these things ‘enspirited’. i'm not sure if i had just created this word. i like it! i smiled as it tumbled through my lips.spiritual life can’t be measured in how often we sit on the cushion,
or how many times we attend a service,
or how many yoga classes we attend.
it can, however, be experienced in our connection...to ourselves, to others, to the planet and to something that transcends.to be enspirited is to be fully present with whatever is in the moment.to be enspirited is to be alive to each passing breath, each passing thought, each passing step, each passing movement, each passing sight, smell, taste.to be enspirited is to be with each feeling, each sensation.to be enspirited to live and to love.
doing and being
winter approachesthe days shorten and darken, the nights grow long
there are lots of grumbles and moans...every year. this change in light to dark effects us deeply, especially since so few of us actually respect or honour this rhythm of the Earth.what would your life look like if, for a few months while the days are short, you slowed down? did less? breathed more? be-d more? what would your life feel like in resonance with Mother Earth?though i rarely go to the bible for references, the old testament commands farmers to allow their land to lie fallow every seventh year.
though our twelve month cycle doesn’t fit this specific rhythm, it has one of its own....autumn, to winter, to spring and summer. what would your life be like lived in this rhythm, allowing the dark time to be a fallow, slower time?the fallow year allows the earth to simply be...or so it appears on the surface. when planting and tilling and weeding cease, the surface rests while unseen energies...the bugs and microbes...are doing their work.
so it can be with us. we have our own inner life, the one unseen on the surface. during this quiescent time thoughts, dreams, ideas have space to bubble and blend.
they are preparing to emerge after the winter solstice when the days lengthen.because we live in a society based on productivity this pause, this yearly period of rest, is ignored, derided, transformed into a season of consuming. it is ignored just as elders, who consume less and produce less, are ignored and sidelined. this inner spacetime, which is integral to eldering, is transformed into meaninglessness and debility.what would all of our lives look like when the seasons of our lives honoured the seasons of the Earth? what would all of our lives look like when elders are honoured? when we honour ourselves?
(almost) last words
“i would know my shadow and my light.so shall i at last be whole.then, courage brother, dare the grave passage.here is no final grievingbut an abiding hope.”
these words were written as the man was dying. he was the husband of an acquaintance of mine. i don’t know his name. she gave me a photocopy of his hand written words as we sat together in a group willing to go deep within and consider the growing into elderhood.one of the sacred tasks of the elder is to look at our mortality…our inevitable death. this is practice over time…unless we run out of time, of course.
to look now, in small glances or directly with eyes wide open, is a task and a gift. it is a gift we give ourselves. with each glance, each contemplation, each bit of increased willingness we come closer to wholeness. we can then see/feel/touch/taste/hear the human condition.our consciousness expands and our heart can open. compassion arises, not only for ourselves but for all beings. each of us is born and each of us will die.to know our shadow and our light allows us to integrate, to complete the cycle of life.
it also allows us to love.
3 questions...a contempation
three questions…a contemplation
what inspires you about growing older?
what surprises you about growing older?
what challenges you about growing older?
some days are easy, some days not
as the days pass some flow with ease, others don’t. there are days of glorious sunrises, delightful adventures, deep connections with self and others, sunsets that inspire awe and great telly.
other days are filled with regret, leaden skies, painful news and boredom.
and then there are the days that remind us of the passage of days as registered in our physical form. an injury, a twist, a shooting pain, another limitation. these are the days that we might find ourselves in a feedback loop of sensation, labelling, desire for relief, and paracetamol. even the doing of ‘good’ things, such as exercise, might create these challenges.how do we respond? the entire gamut of emotions often arises in these moments...anger, disbelief, fury, amazement, sadness, grief, curiosity.
it is this last that might fascinate the elder. how has this body changed? what can I learn from this new ache, this unexpected pain? where is my threshold for these changes? can i breathe through this? do i need to visit a health care practitioner? My GP? A&E?curiosity seasoned with discernment might be the mantra of our ageing bodies. buddhists suggest we sit with and observe the sensations in the knowledge that they will change. the sensations will increase, decrease, cease altogether. and change they will. decades of experience with our bodies have taught us how they open to the new, how they shut down to the unexpected, what actions we usually take.some days are easy; some days not. it is true that some of us have higher tolerances that others of us. it is also true that some of us respond with more curiosity than others of us.what is important here is self-knowledge...knowing our patterns and choosing to follow them or to try something different. one path is not better than another, simply different.it is the awareness that matters whether the day is easy, or not.
gerontologist
dr. esther aronson recently published a book (in the USA which is now available in the UK entitled “Elderhood”.
she writes from decades of medical experience working with older people. Some of her patients are in there 60s, others in their 100s. what is clear from a recent interview on national public radio (non-commercial broadcasting in the US) is that there is almost no research to support doctors in treating older people.i would imagine that the situation is the same in the UK as it is in the US...more doctors train for paediatrics than geriatrics despite the fact that, on the whole, more care is needed as we age than in the first part of life. in other words, caring for older people just isn’t as sexy as dealing with kids.dr. aronson talks a great deal about medications and the problems faced by older people in the world of medicines.
there is much to be learned in this 35-minute interview. she speaks eloquently about her own eldering process, preceded by a massive burnout. she also talks of her father’s dying and the difficult decisions that needed to be made.her deepest advice is to plan...create advance directives for health care and finanaces.
make clear to those closest to you what you want and what you don’t want. deal with your material possessions as well as your medical needs as best you can. of course, there is always the unexpected, but if there is documentation of your desires, you are more likely to have the treatment you choose.we cannot know the day of our death. we do know, however, that it will happen. we cannot know the circumstances of our death. we can, however, make clear the manner in which we would prefer to die.facing our mortality is a task of the elder. Inquiring deeply into our hearts about our values, our commitments, our beliefs can lead us to making the plans that will guide our dear ones and make their tasks a bit lighter.