it’s never too late to be what you might have been.~~ george eliot
that message arrived on my phone a few hours ago. it came to me courtesy of an app called ‘WeCroak’. need i tell you that their logo is a frog…a red one with spots.i have no idea who created this app. it’s based on the awareness of the people of bhutan that happiness comes from contemplating death five times a day. WeCroak sends a short, sometimes sharp, sometimes gentle, reminder five times a day to my phone.i pause, breathe and become conscious of my mortality, and all the glorious, delirious mess of life, five times a day…should i choose to open the reminder. most of the time i do. the quotes are drawn from poetry, spiritual teachings, great literature, common expressions, philosophy.from their tiny website:“you are encouraged to take one moment for contemplation, conscious breathing or meditation when wecroak notifications arrive. we find that a regular practice of contemplating mortality helps spur needed change, accept what we must, let go of things that don’t matter and honor things that do.”bhutan, a tiny himalayan kingdom, is known for it’s gross national happiness index. the phrase ‘gross national happiness’ was first coined by the 4th king of bhutan, king jigme singye wangchuck, in 1972 when he declared, “gross national happiness is more important than gross domestic product.” The concept implies that sustainable development should take a holistic approach towards notions of progress and give equal importance to non-economic aspects of wellbeing.
in the bbc online travel section an article revealed the writer’s experience with a doctor in bhutan who recommended she practice this contemplation once a day. she became aware that his prescription was ‘contemplation-on-death lite’ when she discovered that the bhutanese use the practice five times each day.http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20150408-bhutans-dark-secret-to-happinessunlikely as it may sound, this practice does not cause depression or morbid thoughts. since bhutan rates the highest in the world on the happiness index, we can trust that the practice contributes to joy and well-being.this might be an appropriate use of technology for elders to investigate. mortality is closer now than ever, as we witness the sometimes challenging changes to our bodies, to our minds and to our hearts.life takes on a different hue when i am aware that death is at hand. it becomes brighter, more vibrant, more majestic, more numinous, more possible. each heartbeat sounds itself as precious. each conversation holds meaning. each love, each joy, each sadness, each fright can become the focus of awareness.what is happening right now?this moment may be the moment before my death.(p.s. comments on the gorge elliott quote to come…at some point.)
she tells us too that studies reveal that those who have a regular spiritual practice have healthier older years and might even live longer than those who don’t.whether an older chooses a traditional, formal religion or a spiritual practice unique to that individual they receive remarkable benefits. blood pressure drops. they experience fewer strokes, less anxiety and depression and have a greater sense of their own well-being than their counterparts who don’t have a regular practice. dr. wyatt wisely reminds us that “having a belief is different than actually putting that belief into practice.”like so many other daily activities that we know are beneficial, spiritual practice may be something we know we should do and just don’t have time for.
one of the best spiritual instructions i’ve ever received was this: find a practice you love. if we are eager to engage in the practice we will be inexorably drawn to it. the practice itself lights a fire in our heart and in our belly. in yogic terms, this fire is called agni. it is the heat that keeps us growing and expanding. with the love we hold for the practice we might discover it is not a burden at all, but an essential part of the day. practice then moves from the “should do” category to the “i can’t wait” category.of course, there are many practices to choose from. some might be familiar from earlier parts of your life. they may or may not suit any longer. or they might need to be revised, re-invented, revitalised. most traditional religious paths have aspects in common…prayer, congregational gatherings, reading sacred texts. any or all of these might ignite that fire for you. other practices focus on contemplation or meditation. some involve physical movement, others ask us to be still.some practices have no traditional roots at all. gardening, walking, preparing food, washing up after dinner, behaving with kindness all become spiritual practices when we attend to them with our entire being, becoming fully present.
it is true that we might often find it hard to practice, hard to find the fire of love. such is the human condition. we have periods of ease with practice and periods of great challenge.the next best piece of spiritual guidance i received was this: just show up. 
no one likes paying tax, though i don’t begrudge the NHS a single penny. (in fact, i would pay more tax if i knew my money were going directly to fund this amazing health service.)however, i read the headline with amazement. there is so much negative press about olders being a drain on the economy and not contributing to it, or to society in general, at all. my first thought, on noticing the bold headline, was “hooray!!”
paying tax implies that an older might still be working. she might have investments that pay handsome dividends and she contributes her share of tax. it might mean that he has extensive property and is wealthy enough to pay his fair share…well, it’s possible he pays less than his ‘fair’ share. it might mean that she is self-employed, at last doing what she loves. and she's earning enough to be taxed.it means that olders who are still paying tax are actually contributing to the common good. according to the article in 2015-2016 (the last year for which detailed figures are available) there were 6.49 million taxpayers aged over 65. “among the 6.49 million, the average annual tax bill was £3,522.” while that might not fund the entire budget, now in the trillions, it does contribute a share larger than most people believe.with that much of our money flowing into the exchequer, we can, on yet another level, stop regarding ourselves as a burden. not only do we contribute money, our wisdom and experience is also a significant contribution to the well-being of the country. we hold so much talent, knowledge, and understanding. we are a resource not to be wasted.it only remains for each of us to recognise, and then act on the recognition, that our riches are beyond compare and, actually, beyond price.
no matter what the taxman says!(the i,9 july, 2018)
do you wake up each morning with the knowledge, the deep inside knowledge, that you will make an impact? everything we do, think, say, believe, hope, dislike, condemn, praise, love has an impact. much of this is invisible to others and, more importantly, to ourselves.this impact isn’t only about deciding to recycle an empty milk bottle or yesterday’s newspaper (though that makes a difference too). the impact we each make is much farther-reaching than we can imagine.as elders we are called upon to consider how our lives have effected others and how we continue to influence those close and those far from us. knowing that we become responsible in a much larger way than we might have imagined earlier. and we are then called upon to act in ways that have a positive effect.we can choose to make a difference, as goodall has done with her remarkable work with chimpanzees and in defence of the wild. our choice may not have the massive impact her’s has had, and yet, each of us has the strength to choose how we live, speak, think, believe, care and love. we have each made hundreds of thousands of choices of decades of life. we can now choose to live knowing that we make an impact.it’s the butterfly effect.
a small change in one state can result in large differences in a later state. a small change in our thinking can have massive effects on other ‘states’…our own internal state, the state of our relationship to others around us, the state of our actions in the world.one of the ways we can change our thinking, and therefore our actions, is through spiritual practice. we might become more mindful, more calm, more insightful, more willing, and able ,to bear the unbearable and more able to live with serenity and grace…even through the hard stuff of life.from that state we can then make choices whose impact is beneficial to those concerned and to the planet Herself. we may even make history! 
there is so much chaos in the world in which we live. sometimes, though, i question whether there is more chaos now than in any other time in human history. or does it seem like more because we know about what is happening at every moment, all over the planet?
surely, chaos existed when we were hunter-gatherers. drought, floods, fires, and earthquakes would have been the chaos we experienced then. death and destruction were the same then as they is now. anxiety about it would have dogged our ancestors just as it does us now.and somehow, life feels different today than it did just 10 years ago. the level of aggression and fear seems to have risen beyond that of days passed. is it the overload of information? too much busy-ness? too many responsibilities? too little certainty?
this prayer seems to hold out the essence of calm action, a possible antidote for the venom we live with. if i take it to heart, i become willing to live with my own chaos and confusion along that which affects all others. and i become willing to work for the enlightenment of all others. all i really need to do is become willing.these are deep aspirations, possibly out of reach for most of us. and yet, simply holding the intention, holding the space for good, is an action that soothes my heart and allows me to connect, not only with other beings, but with the Divine.recognising the confusion and chaos most of us face right now, and have lived in for decades, is one of the steps on the path of eldering. to first own fully the events (both calm and chaotic) of our lives and then harvest the wisdom gained from those experiences can allow us to clear a lot of unnecessary baggage that we may have been holding for decades.
then we can take compassionate action, take on the Work of healing, the Work of mentoring, the Work of sharing our wisdom with others, the Work of changing the paradigm and vision of ageing. this is Work with a capital W. this Work can only be done after garnering many years of life experience. it is honourable and sacred Work.it is the Work of enlightenment. it is the Work of Love. 
in the mist of the shadow lives the unkown. a bridge spans the space between the known, that which is illuminated, and that which lies in the mystery. to know the unknowable, to speak that which cannot be spoken, to love that which is elusive is the work of shadows.behind that veil of darkness lies the light of the heart. without it, that which is bright and in the open cannot be known. the shadows hold the key. they reveal, illuminate, enlighten.what shape the shadows? are they simply the outline of the light? or do they hold the secrets of the spark of life? what can be known of the shadows in the soul? do the shadows provide the fuel, the divine pressure, to know the light?
to know the balance of the dim and the lucid, is the work of life, especially the work of the elder. the opportunity to know truth, both the light and the shadow, is now.for, if not taken now, a holy moment before death will have been missed.inside there is an enormous well of power, of energy, to know both, the bright and the dark, the shaded and the illuminated, in harmony....to truly experience, and to know in the depths, the mystery.
the spanning bridge might be misty and opaque, or crystalline and vivid in its presence. regardless of its appearance, it is the path in that opens in both directions, from the shadows to the light, from the dark to the bright, and back again in the ever-pounding pulse of life and death.