“They are not slowing down but taking on new challenges, roles, and responsibilities…They are not wilting in the autumnal year of their life. They are perennials. And, like their namesake in nature, they are hardy, with the ability to withstand changes to their environment; they adapt, evolve and grow anew.”
so says ben page, the chief executive of ipsos mori, in the introduction to a 100+ page report. based on data collected from all over the world some astounding facts emerged…73% of people in india look forward to old age.
in germany you are considered to be old at 62
and in spain it’s 74.
however in saudi arabia it’s 55.
here in the UK it seems that people between 65 and 75 are happy and consider things they are doing to be worthwhile, including sex. (meanwhile, those 40-59 experience high levels of anxiety and low levels of satisfaction. i wonder if that includes their sex lives….?)and those of us over 50 have enormous economic power. to quote an article about this report in the ‘i’ newspaper (1 april 2019…this was not their april fool’s day article!),
“if the silver pound were a sovereign nation, it would be the world’s third-largest economy.”
this buying power also gives us a political power. while there are certainly many olders who are poor, those of us who have the ability to do so can make a difference by our consumer choices. we can support artisans, plastic-free products, organic foods and farmers’ markets, local booksellers and make investments in ethical companies.while i haven’t read the actual report, i was over-joyed to read the article. the “i” has a large circulation, both online and in print, so lots of people may have read this article. it has further inspired me to continue to change the paradigm of ageing, both in myself and in the world.will you join me? what sort of perennial are you? where is your place in the rich, abundant garden of life?
we often seem to measure a life’s worth by the length of that life. certainly we gain experience and wisdom as we age. and yet, is the number of years in a life the only valuable aspect of that life?how good were those years? what have we created? how have we loved? have we been compassionate and caring? have we been honest? what have we learned and shared with others? these, and many other qualities, might be a more remarkable measure of a lifetime.quality is subjective, of course. what brings good quality to my life might seem utterly boring and dull to someone else. what makes their life exciting and meaningful might seem meaningless and empty to me. no matter what creates meaning in a life, it is vital to a life well-lived.
having a purpose, regardless of what it is, keeps us filled with energy. purpose creates a sense of wakefulness and awareness, an aliveness not found in a life without a reason for being. a chosen involvement, an activity that holds our attention and excites our creativity, gives us, as we age, a focus of attention. it can become a meditation in itself as we give it our interest, our energy and, yes, our love.this may be the mark of seneca’s good life. so it matters not how long, but how fulfilling is each moment that passes. is the moment filled with awareness of what is present? is the moment, and therefore the life, filled with wakefulness?*seneca was a roman stoic philosopher who died in 65 ce. he also said, "Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness." and that's no joke!
in the words of
i have attended several death cafes, and hosted a few myself. (anyone can host one. there is a wonderful guide on the website.) i’m always amazed at the variety of fears, thrills, experiences, and views about dying and death which emerge at a death cafe. i’m most struck by two things.the first is openness. because the underlying ethos is discussion without motivation to sell or convince anyone of anything, the space is held in mindful equality. no one knows more than anyone else. no one leads the discussion. everyone’s experience is valued equally. the conversation is free-wheeling and free-flowing.i’m also always struck by the participants’ willingness to discuss a deeply personal, and often painful, subject. what arises in every death cafe i’ve attended is the lack of public discourse about everyone’s inevitable end. because death (and birth) have become medicalised and removed from daily life, talk about dying and death is almost always avoided. the cafes themselves are beginning to bring about a radical change. it seems that open discussion, in a confidential space, where nothing is expected, allows for healing.begun in england in 2011, based on the work of swiss sociologist and anthropologist, bernard crettaz, there have been over 8000 death cafes all over the world.
people of all ages attend, each bringing their own ideas and thoughts. and each person leaves more empowered than when they arrived.and, needless to say, everyone enjoys the cake?
i did take note of the lack of older people on the streets. then i discovered that half for morocco’s population is under 30! i don’t know why that is, but its a remarkable statistic. this younger population has moved out of the old cities into modern blocks of flats. no winding, crowded alleyways for the internet generations. instead they have opted for soulless, identical buildings without character or charm. granted, they are also without donkeys and their poop!
as i gave more thought to the culture around me i realised that life happens inside in morocco...inside the walls of the courtyards. that is where the beauty lies. that is also where the olders are. inside. hidden? protected? happy?
sadly, i neglected to inquire of the local guide about the attitude toward olders/elders in this most liberal of Islamic countries.so I did what any 21st century elder would do...i logged on to the ‘net and found some very disturbing articles...morocco among the worst countries for people over 60....half of morocco’s sick elderly can’t afford to pay for healthcare...nearly 70% of morocco’s elderly are illiterate.no wonder the elders i saw on the streets were infirm, most likely poor, and ailing.
my heart ached for them as i continued along in an air conditioned coach, aware of the disparity between my life and theirs, my incredible privilege and their lack of what i often take for granted.my heart still bleeds.
i will certainly be looking at how elders are regarded as i travel from place to place!
the communication with you, and the actual writing of the posts, is essential to my well-being. so the will certainly re-appear in your inbox soon.take some time out!be well!
i actually accomplished most of those tasks.and then i asked myself, “what can i do today, in the present, that my future self would thank me for?” wow, what would that be?yoga practice?a walk in the sunshine?contacting the funeral director i had chosen?a phone call, not an email, to a friend?
what would my future self, the one that is born in the next present moment, thank me for?a cup of tean and a quiet sitting on the sofa, looking out the window at the sky on this winter day.
the tea is important to my future self because of the moment-to-moment experience of heat, liquid, spicy flavour…the enjoyment of the senses. and the looking is important to my future self for no particular reason at all! its importance lies in the space i create inside, in silence, is a reflection of, and reflected by, the sky.it is the space of potential for my future self to fill or not, as she sees fit. only the potential is important. the filling, or not, may, or may not, be important to her. in this moment, only the potential, along with the tea, are vital to my future self.