dr karen wyatt, physican and author, has worked for many years gathering the wisdom of people whose lives are ending in hospice care. she has gathered their words in books and on her blog.
she tells us too that studies reveal that those who have a regular spiritual practice have healthier older years and might even live longer than those who don’t.whether an older chooses a traditional, formal religion or a spiritual practice unique to that individual they receive remarkable benefits. blood pressure drops. they experience fewer strokes, less anxiety and depression and have a greater sense of their own well-being than their counterparts who don’t have a regular practice. dr. wyatt wisely reminds us that “having a belief is different than actually putting that belief into practice.”like so many other daily activities that we know are beneficial, spiritual practice may be something we know we should do and just don’t have time for.
one of the best spiritual instructions i’ve ever received was this: find a practice you love. if we are eager to engage in the practice we will be inexorably drawn to it. the practice itself lights a fire in our heart and in our belly. in yogic terms, this fire is called agni. it is the heat that keeps us growing and expanding. with the love we hold for the practice we might discover it is not a burden at all, but an essential part of the day. practice then moves from the “should do” category to the “i can’t wait” category.of course, there are many practices to choose from. some might be familiar from earlier parts of your life. they may or may not suit any longer. or they might need to be revised, re-invented, revitalised. most traditional religious paths have aspects in common…prayer, congregational gatherings, reading sacred texts. any or all of these might ignite that fire for you. other practices focus on contemplation or meditation. some involve physical movement, others ask us to be still.some practices have no traditional roots at all. gardening, walking, preparing food, washing up after dinner, behaving with kindness all become spiritual practices when we attend to them with our entire being, becoming fully present.
it is true that we might often find it hard to practice, hard to find the fire of love. such is the human condition. we have periods of ease with practice and periods of great challenge.the next best piece of spiritual guidance i received was this: just show up.
the taxman
suddenly the business section of the newspaper, which i rarely read, jumped out at me. a headline caught my eye, proclaiming, in bold letters, “pensioners still paying billions to the taxman.” it was, of course, written from the perspective of saving on tax.
no one likes paying tax, though i don’t begrudge the NHS a single penny. (in fact, i would pay more tax if i knew my money were going directly to fund this amazing health service.)however, i read the headline with amazement. there is so much negative press about olders being a drain on the economy and not contributing to it, or to society in general, at all. my first thought, on noticing the bold headline, was “hooray!!”
paying tax implies that an older might still be working. she might have investments that pay handsome dividends and she contributes her share of tax. it might mean that he has extensive property and is wealthy enough to pay his fair share…well, it’s possible he pays less than his ‘fair’ share. it might mean that she is self-employed, at last doing what she loves. and she's earning enough to be taxed.it means that olders who are still paying tax are actually contributing to the common good. according to the article in 2015-2016 (the last year for which detailed figures are available) there were 6.49 million taxpayers aged over 65. “among the 6.49 million, the average annual tax bill was £3,522.” while that might not fund the entire budget, now in the trillions, it does contribute a share larger than most people believe.with that much of our money flowing into the exchequer, we can, on yet another level, stop regarding ourselves as a burden. not only do we contribute money, our wisdom and experience is also a significant contribution to the well-being of the country. we hold so much talent, knowledge, and understanding. we are a resource not to be wasted.it only remains for each of us to recognise, and then act on the recognition, that our riches are beyond compare and, actually, beyond price.
no matter what the taxman says!(the i,9 july, 2018)
impact
you cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. what you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. ~~dame jane godall
do you wake up each morning with the knowledge, the deep inside knowledge, that you will make an impact? everything we do, think, say, believe, hope, dislike, condemn, praise, love has an impact. much of this is invisible to others and, more importantly, to ourselves.this impact isn’t only about deciding to recycle an empty milk bottle or yesterday’s newspaper (though that makes a difference too). the impact we each make is much farther-reaching than we can imagine.as elders we are called upon to consider how our lives have effected others and how we continue to influence those close and those far from us. knowing that we become responsible in a much larger way than we might have imagined earlier. and we are then called upon to act in ways that have a positive effect.we can choose to make a difference, as goodall has done with her remarkable work with chimpanzees and in defence of the wild. our choice may not have the massive impact her’s has had, and yet, each of us has the strength to choose how we live, speak, think, believe, care and love. we have each made hundreds of thousands of choices of decades of life. we can now choose to live knowing that we make an impact.it’s the butterfly effect.
a small change in one state can result in large differences in a later state. a small change in our thinking can have massive effects on other ‘states’…our own internal state, the state of our relationship to others around us, the state of our actions in the world.one of the ways we can change our thinking, and therefore our actions, is through spiritual practice. we might become more mindful, more calm, more insightful, more willing, and able ,to bear the unbearable and more able to live with serenity and grace…even through the hard stuff of life.from that state we can then make choices whose impact is beneficial to those concerned and to the planet Herself. we may even make history!
a tibetan prayer
from today onward until the attainment of enlightenment may i be willing to live with my chaos and confusion and that of all other sentient beings. may i be willing to share our mutual confusion and work incessantly and humbly to help and elevate everyone without exception.
there is so much chaos in the world in which we live. sometimes, though, i question whether there is more chaos now than in any other time in human history. or does it seem like more because we know about what is happening at every moment, all over the planet?
surely, chaos existed when we were hunter-gatherers. drought, floods, fires, and earthquakes would have been the chaos we experienced then. death and destruction were the same then as they is now. anxiety about it would have dogged our ancestors just as it does us now.and somehow, life feels different today than it did just 10 years ago. the level of aggression and fear seems to have risen beyond that of days passed. is it the overload of information? too much busy-ness? too many responsibilities? too little certainty?
this prayer seems to hold out the essence of calm action, a possible antidote for the venom we live with. if i take it to heart, i become willing to live with my own chaos and confusion along that which affects all others. and i become willing to work for the enlightenment of all others. all i really need to do is become willing.these are deep aspirations, possibly out of reach for most of us. and yet, simply holding the intention, holding the space for good, is an action that soothes my heart and allows me to connect, not only with other beings, but with the Divine.recognising the confusion and chaos most of us face right now, and have lived in for decades, is one of the steps on the path of eldering. to first own fully the events (both calm and chaotic) of our lives and then harvest the wisdom gained from those experiences can allow us to clear a lot of unnecessary baggage that we may have been holding for decades.
then we can take compassionate action, take on the Work of healing, the Work of mentoring, the Work of sharing our wisdom with others, the Work of changing the paradigm and vision of ageing. this is Work with a capital W. this Work can only be done after garnering many years of life experience. it is honourable and sacred Work.it is the Work of enlightenment. it is the Work of Love.
blogiversary
today is a milestone.a year since i began writing this blog.it has been an exciting experience, filled with creative energy i didn’t know i had. it has opened doors that were shut; revealed secrets i didn’t know i held in some part of my being; and brought laughter and tears easily to the surface.one of the most exciting bits has been engagement with a reflective writing group. i’ve met with the group for about six months and the piece below is the most recent creation.it seems fitting to publish it today.
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bridges and shadows
in the mist of the shadow lives the unkown. a bridge spans the space between the known, that which is illuminated, and that which lies in the mystery. to know the unknowable, to speak that which cannot be spoken, to love that which is elusive is the work of shadows.behind that veil of darkness lies the light of the heart. without it, that which is bright and in the open cannot be known. the shadows hold the key. they reveal, illuminate, enlighten.what shape the shadows? are they simply the outline of the light? or do they hold the secrets of the spark of life? what can be known of the shadows in the soul? do the shadows provide the fuel, the divine pressure, to know the light?
to know the balance of the dim and the lucid, is the work of life, especially the work of the elder. the opportunity to know truth, both the light and the shadow, is now.for, if not taken now, a holy moment before death will have been missed.inside there is an enormous well of power, of energy, to know both, the bright and the dark, the shaded and the illuminated, in harmony....to truly experience, and to know in the depths, the mystery.
the spanning bridge might be misty and opaque, or crystalline and vivid in its presence. regardless of its appearance, it is the path in that opens in both directions, from the shadows to the light, from the dark to the bright, and back again in the ever-pounding pulse of life and death.
up and down
or is it down and up again?today, as i walked outdoors in the sunshine, i saw a young man stumble over a rise in the pavement.
he recovered his balance and continued talking to his companion as if nothing had happened. as the years pass many of us become afraid of falling or stumbling, and with good reason. the youngers recover more quickly. they have more resilience in their bodies and minds. we olders may have less.when a younger breaks a leg it can be a time of jest and joking with friends while the body heals itself relatively quickly. when the same fracture happens to an older it can be a time of anxiety and slow, painful healing.
when a younger forgets a name or place, she laughs and thinks nothing of it. it happens all the time and a friend will remember and fill in the blank. when an older forgets, she might become frightened and label it early-onset dementia…no laughing matter.how did this transition happen? do we even notice it as the decades pass? surely this change did not happen from one day to the next. nor is it inevitable. while the body and mind certainly change, it is often the fear that grips us…the fear of less mobility, the fear of limited options, the fear of mental decline, the fear of losses unexpected.and it is this fear that can cast a pall over our eldering years, causing us to withdraw, both physically and energetically, from the world around us.maintaining our health, on all levels, is a priority for many of us. it is often the first thing mentioned in a conversation about ageing. “i want to maintain my health as best i can and for as long as i can.” there is, in that statement, a recognition that there will come moments when we are not in control and can no longer do what was "best" only a few months previously. meanwhile, however, we do all that we can…exercise, eat well, give up smoking or sugar or gluten, take a course, learn a new skill, regular visits to a health care practitioner.
we might even begin to make a mindful practice of continuing to bend down to tie our shoes, or sit on the floor, or climb the stairs to our flat instead of taking the lift, or riding the bicycle to the shop, or walking to visit a friend instead of taking the bus or car. all of these daily activities can become spiritual practices with the recognition that we are staying connected to our essential well-being, our deep self.we can also continue (or learn) more traditional spiritual practices. they just might take on new significance, and great joy, when we discover we can still, actually or metaphorically, sit on the floor…and get up again!