this question is the foundation of my search in elderhood, the bit of wisdom i might have gleaned from these years of living. this is search that has brought women and men wiser than i to their knees. and yet, i am willing to step into the seeking.
what i am coming to know, at a deep level, is that Love is not an emotion; it is not a feeling. what i am coming to Know is that Love is the substrate of existence. it is the pulse of creation. it is the bliss of connection. it is the outpouring of energy into millions, billions, of forms.
and Love is the sometimes painful work of witnessing my behaviour, my callousness, my anger...the shadowed bits...that i can choose to hold in the light of Love until i--the me that i think i am-- can Love them fully.
and this is that which i seek in my elderhood. this is what is left after all the rest has been examined and analysed. this is the essence, the root. this is what it means to be radical in my life...to go to the core. this is what it means to surrender the titles, the jobs, the acquisitions, the stuff that surrounds us. this is what it means to open to the incomprehensible.
Love is concentrated, intense, black hole energy. it consumes all. all matter is consumed into a tiny, concentrated space where only Love exists. even light can’t escape from Love’s hold.
and, simultaneously, Love expands beyond our ability to conceive, our ability to know. Love leads us to awe, to awakening.
and then, somehow, in ways that are beyond understanding, we come to know Love.
this is the theme of my elderhood.